The Zombie Apocageddon

ZOMBIES! They’re everywhere! AAAAHHHHH! No, really, they’re everywhere. They’re in the movies, books, internet, and of course every merchandising warehouse. They've invaded. People are obsessed with Zombies these days.

I’m not entirely sure whether I should be worried or impressed at just how ready our society is for a Zombie apocalypse. It’s as if we’re egging it on. I mean, that’s why we’re overpopulating, right? So that we have enough survivors to sustain the human race until all the Zombies are dead-dead. But seriously, a Zombie proof house!?

There are Zombie survival guides, road signs, police tape, special weaponry, “in case of Zombies break glass” kits. Despite all of this mania, I still seem to want to prepare for this “impending” Zombie Apocalypse. Whenever I see a cool switch blade or Machete that’s designed for “Zombie killing,” I have to restrain from reaching for my wallet. I secretly plan my own Zombie proof house, and survival guides. But why?

Why am I, too, obsessed with Zombies? Well, they are bizarre, and anything bizarre amuses me. Not to mention the show “The Walking Dead” is absolutely fabulous. Most of all, I think it’s because I’d have a moral obligation to kill the people I don’t like to protect myself. :]

Here is my Zombie escape plan:

1.     Stockpile food, water, Gatorade, Spam, and MREs.

2.     Stockpile machine guns, shot guns, rifles, grenades, rocket launchers, flame throwers and massive amounts of ammunition.

3.     Marry a Saudi Prince and become heir to Arabian oil.

4.     Buy a self-sustaining solar power plant.

5.     Charter my own remote island in the middle of the ocean.

6.     Become best friends with a pilot.

7.     Once the apocalypse begins, lie low, preferably far underground, until things above ground finish their peak.

8.     Run to plane with pilot friend, and other survivors that aren’t annoying, and fly to remote island.

9.     Live a happy, Zombie-free life. :] 

Buy that cute little guy down there, HERE. :]

What’s your escape plan?