ZOMBIES! They’re everywhere! AAAAHHHHH! No, really, they’re
everywhere. They’re in the movies, books, internet, and of course every
merchandising warehouse. They've invaded. People are obsessed with Zombies these days.
I’m not entirely sure
whether I should be worried or impressed at just how ready our society is for a
Zombie apocalypse. It’s as if we’re egging it on. I mean, that’s why we’re
overpopulating, right? So that we have enough survivors to sustain the human
race until all the Zombies are dead-dead. But seriously, a Zombie proof house!?
There
are Zombie survival guides, road signs, police tape, special weaponry, “in case
of Zombies break glass” kits. Despite all of this mania, I still seem to want
to prepare for this “impending” Zombie Apocalypse. Whenever I see a cool switch
blade or Machete that’s designed for “Zombie killing,” I have to restrain from
reaching for my wallet. I secretly plan my own Zombie proof house, and survival
guides. But why?
Why am I, too, obsessed with Zombies?
Well, they are bizarre, and anything bizarre amuses me. Not to mention the show
“The Walking Dead” is absolutely fabulous. Most of all, I think it’s because
I’d have a moral obligation to kill the people I don’t like to protect myself.
:]
Here is my Zombie escape plan:
1.
Stockpile food, water, Gatorade, Spam, and MREs.
2.
Stockpile machine guns, shot guns, rifles,
grenades, rocket launchers, flame throwers and massive amounts of ammunition.
3.
Marry a Saudi Prince and become heir to Arabian
oil.
4.
Buy a self-sustaining solar power plant.
5.
Charter my own remote island in the middle of
the ocean.
6.
Become best friends with a pilot.
7.
Once the apocalypse begins, lie low, preferably
far underground, until things above ground finish their peak.
8.
Run to plane with pilot friend, and other survivors
that aren’t annoying, and fly to remote island.
9.
Live a happy, Zombie-free life. :]
What’s your escape plan?